“You’re so beautiful and amazing, why don’t you have a boyfriend yet?”

The saying that seems like a flattering compliment but easily makes people disappointed is often aimed at successful young women. From here, a problem that seems to be “causing a storm” in today’s times is raised: If a beautiful, successful woman does not have a lover or life partner by her side, can she still live a completely happy life?

Since 2000, living alone has become the most popular lifestyle in America. According to the 2012 census, 53.6% of women over 18 are unmarried. Not to mention far away, even in Vietnam, the number of single women is also growing strongly and seems to be forming a new trend. So why do single people feel lonely and pitiful? Due to traditional ideology? Is it because people like to judge or is it because of our own perception?

If you feel bored or lonely, it doesn’t mean you’re single

There are many psychological analysis articles that say that you are single because you constantly fail in love, are no longer confident with yourself, confused, and closed off. Even living alone makes you susceptible to serious mental illnesses. Devouring negative articles like that only makes your spirit go down and your situation gets worse. Instead, first try to find out the reason in a positive and clear-headed way. The cause may originate from:

1. You focus too much of your attention on your romantic relationship. You forget about yourself and only think about how to make the other person feel happy and not abandon you. When the relationship fails, you immediately find someone else to take its place and continue like a moth. We still know that love is blind, but unfortunately, it overshadows other simple relationships until at some point, you feel really lonely. In a large Harvard survey, one of the most complete studies on happiness, followed 268 male students for 75 years to find out what brought them happiness. After a long time, the results showed that the relationships around them brought them most of the joy in life. Of course, it doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship like a boy and a girl. Psychiatrist George Vaillant said that different connections in life will bring positive joy. In fact, when you are single, you will attract more attention.

2. Or you cannot prioritize what you really want: You cannot control yourself and easily follow the judgments of people who claim to have more experience in both age and life experience. . You live in a family, society values ​​the commitment of marriage, and the sad reality is that those who have been married have more say than those who are single. That makes you feel like you’re being pitied, leading to you being closed off and putting yourself down. If a woman lives out of wedlock with a man, people will assume that it is because the man refuses to marry and does not give the slightest thought to the woman’s right to make decisions. That is what harms your psychology and self-esteem, not because you are single. It makes you think all day about how to get married instead of doing what you really want.

Of course, saying this is not to advise you not to get married. According to Pew statistics in 2010, 84% of unmarried people value “love” more than a reason to get married such as: “a commitment to live together for life”, “having children” or “financial stability”. Women will only get married when they feel the time is right, with the right person, or their own criteria are satisfied, not based on the perceived cultural standards of the community. After all, it is their own happiness, not anyone else’s.

Being single can be the best thing ever

Ignoring all the other things that make you frustrated and bored, there is only one fact that you are single. This could be the most magical and memorable time of your life. Because:

1. No one will distract you and make you think about how to make them happy. This is your moment, your chance to truly find out who you are. The good things, the bad things, and the things that should not be cared about are all exposed before your eyes. Strengths, weaknesses, lack of confidence are all clearly seen. Let go of loneliness and discover everything about yourself. Schedule a date to “save” close friendships that have been forgotten because sometimes, just sharing joy with them makes you happy. Linh, 28 years old, shared: “When I broke up with my boyfriend, I no longer wanted anything, I didn’t even want to wear makeup or wear presentable clothes unless I had work. However, my best friend appeared and motivated me to return. That’s great. I feel more confident and beautiful again with my favorite backless dress that my ex hated so much and didn’t want me to wear it.”

2. This is the best time to do the things you want to do. Everyone has secret dreams that they may have to sadly hide for someone else. The opportunity to realize your dream has come. Do you want to travel alone? No one makes you worry or worry anymore. You will meet many new friends and experience countless cool things. Do you want to change your job to a more dynamic company? Do the position you desire requires a lot of traveling and communication that you were hesitant about before? Apply now! List the things you want to do like learning to dance, learning a foreign language, baking… Time is all yours now! Hanh, 30 years old, confided: “There was a time when I just woke up, went to work, came home, turned on the TV and fell asleep. After that, I found myself bored. So I signed up for a workshop on the center to make my own perfume, I bought a camera and started taking pictures of the beautiful moments I encountered. I met many new friends and joined them in art exhibitions and explored the city’s beautiful cafes. Feeling great! It seems that every day for me is a joy, a childlike excitement.” Finding joy again means finding self-confidence and being proud to be yourself.

3. It’s time to regain your health. An unhappy relationship is the cause of many psychological problems and health damage. After breaking up, you binge eat and your waist expands, making you lose confidence. Rearrange your eating to be more reasonable and scientific. Or, if you want to eat comfortably, put yourself on a slightly more rigorous exercise regimen to balance your figure. The process of exercising can also be enjoyable and habit-forming. With a balanced physique, you will feel more confident and attractive. It’s great when you can leisurely glance at the admiring and covetous eyes.

4. When you’re in a relationship, you tend to put other people’s needs first and think that’s happiness. Over time, you become obscure and no longer a priority. This is when you make your own rules or have no rules at all. You want to travel? Fly away! Want breakfast in bed or dinner at midnight? Do that! There’s no guarantee that it’s the perfect way to live, but most of all, you’re in control of yourself. No one stopped it. Without limits. You are free and that is beyond wonderful. After all, nothing can affect you other than your own fears.

5. People always say you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. That may not be true. You can always love others even when you go through the darkest times. However, you just cannot give pure love when your self-esteem is low or your heart is full of regret. Finding your true self and doing what you want to become will create complete happiness for the person who is about to enter your life. People who can love themselves seem to easily create a happy, fulfilling life, but surely this life will be richer and better if shared with others? Maybe yes, but maybe not. But if you are not satisfied with your current life, don’t know where you are going or will go, it means your “soul-mate” is still somewhere and you need a little more time to find it. .

Single girls, happiness is always for you, as long as you choose it!